ChemoTips....

• IV bags with saline water in them work like magnifying glasses. Put them an inch or so from someone else's face and you've got yourself a good 5 minutes of entertainment. Insist that nurses and other people have to talk to you "through" the IV bags. It makes it so much more fun.
• Read all of the reading material your doctors and nurses give you. It may seem like common sense but you may notice that somedays, common sense just isn't so common anymore.
• Don't eat food you really like during chemo or during the first few days after chemo. It may taste good at the time but that will be the last time it tastes good.
• I've found that little reminder notes help everyone in your house accomodate your needs as a chemotherapy patient.
• Travel sickness wristbands are a miracle. Wear them religiously. Not only do they look cool, they work (somehow).
• Ginger ale is the nectar of the Gods. Well, maybe it isn't but if you convince yourself that it helps with nausea, your mind will trick you into thinking you feel better when really the only difference is you're burping a lot.
• Take your drugs. All of them. When you're supposed to. Even if the doctor gives you something as "backup", use it if you're not feeling well. Don't bother with any thoughts like "Even though I don't feel that great, I'm not going to bother with the backup drugs. All these chemicals are bad for me so I'll avoid some of them. That will be better on my body." No. You've already got so many chemicals floating around in your body. Taking the extra drugs is like adding one grain of sand to a beach.
• Sleep.
• Make people do things for you becuase you "have cancer".
• Don't worry when your hair starts falling out. It's kind of fun. Leave little piles all over the place. Ask an unsuspecting person to brush your hair. Have shedding contests with your cat.
• When you're at chemo and go to the bathroom, dance with your IV pole all the way there. When you see someone else getting up to go to the bathroom, get up and race them. Generally, most chemo patients are older, this makes it easy. I've been very successful at this, I've only lost once so far but I was racing a young person and she had a head start. Plus I think the benadryl slowed me down.
• If you're on ABVD, don't get too excited when they tell you that your pee will be red. I've yet to notice this phenomenon. And even if they tell you that there's a drug that's blue, don't request it. As fun as having blue pee sounds, it's not worth it.
• Make sure you get as much information as possible before answering the question "how are you feeling today?" A response of "good" may lead to "great, then you can go take out the trash, get some groceries and clean the house." while a response of "not good" could lead to "oh that's too bad, I guess you'll have no use for the $500 I was going to give you to go shopping today."
• Get satin pillow cases. I've been told these help slow down hair loss and are also better on your head if you're bald. More importantly, they look very top notch and you'll be the envy of all your friends. Especially silver ones, I can say from experience.
• Avoid the use of corny relaxation tapes. This doesn't mean avoid relaxation tapes altogether, they are apparently very helpful. But avoid those of the corny genre such as the one I obtained which insists that chemo is not medicine but is, in fact, a "love potion" that was especially mixed for me by a pharmacist who loves me. Also, these tapes will inform you that your chemotherapy drugs aren't killing your cancer cells by involving themselves in their DNA or preventing mitosis, but they are, in fact, killing them with love. Who knew it was so easy. These are dangerous tapes becuase they accomplish the exact opposite of their intended results. Instead of reaching a heavenly state of relaxation, you will find it difficult to breath due to excessive laughter and disbelief that they actually thought this would make someone say "yes, this is so true, my chemo is actually loving my cancer to death. oh i am so relaxed now."
• Pretend you're about to vomit, even if you don't really feel like it. This will keep everyone around you on edge and provides temporary entertainment for yourself.