September 7, 2002

So it's been awhile. There's lots to say.

After the last update, I planned my trek back to Victoria. I got myself a Canrailpass and on August 7th I got on a train to Toronto.

But first, I saw my doctor on the morning of the 7th. There wasn't much to say but I reminded him I was leaving in about 5 hours so he said he'd send a note to my oncologist in Victoria and tell her what I had been through for the past 9-10 months. Apparently nothing more was necessary. I thought some records would need to be sent but I guess not.

So that afternoon I took off. It was weird leaving. The week or so before that was pretty hectic sorting everything out and making plans. But it was tough leaving, it happened kind of quick and didn't really hit me for a few days. As much as I didn't want to be home for those 10 months, I didn't want to leave. I spent that night in Toronto with Eva.

The next two days were spent on the train. It wasn't too bad. I managed to hold on to two seats for the whole ride so sleeping wasn't too bad. It was bright (the lights were only dimmed) and loud at times and freezing cold but fun. It was pretty impressive to just watch everything go by. It took forever to get out of Ontario and the scenery gets kind of repetitive but every now and then there's something different. We got into Manitoba on the second day but by that point we were 2 hours delayed so our stop in Winnipeg was quick. That night we were in Saskatchewan and that's when I realized what was going on. I realized I was in the middle of Saskatchewan on a train, heading west. And I wondered, why the hell am I in Saskatchewan. Because I had nowhere else to be. And I didn't want to be anywhere else at all.
The next morning we got to Edmonton. I spent the day wandering around and spent the night in a hostel. I met some neat and weird people. The next day I met up with Ryan, a friend from Victoria. We went to the West Edmonton Mall. It's huge, almost too huge. And blue-haired kids mixed with trampolines is one of the funniest things ever. That afternoon I witnessed an Edmonton-style family reunion, learned to play bocci, and that night I experienced the thrilling Edmonton nightlife. A bit too thorougly. I'll leave it at that.

The next morning I got back on the train, much to my head and stomach's dismay, and headed to Jasper. About 2-3 hours outside of Edmonton, we started to see the Rockies in the distance. That was pretty great. I'd wanted to see mountains for so long. I spent the whole trip up on the observation car. The mountains started out tiny in the distance and got bigger until we were right in the middle of them. We went through some tunnels and I was almost as impressed as the kids in the same car as me. I saw some mountain goats and a bear. I ate a really gross sandwich and I took some pictures. Of the sandwich. No, the mountains.
We got into Jasper that afternoon, I found myself my hostel, wandered around the town of Jasper for a bit, spent 30 minutes talking to a Jehova's Witness and then ate some dinner. Thanks to the previous night's festivities I was a little tired so I went to bed at 8pm. And thanks to the exciting German girl in the same room, I didn't fall asleep until 11. Are all germans extremely, painfully loud? Or just that one?

The next day I went to the top of a mountain and sat on it. It was nice.

That afternoon I went to Banff. Apparently the german girl really liked me, so she followed me there. I spent a couple days there, walking around, looking at things and accomplishing not much of anything.

After Banff, I went back up to Jasper to catch the train. I spent a night on it and arrived in Vancouver the next morning. Laine, a friend from Victoria and now my roomate, met me there. She took me home, showed me the shower, the bed and the laundry machine and went to work. I did what I had to do and went to visit her at lunch. She worked at a Daycamp. One of the kids asked me if I was Laine's friend who had cancer. I told him I was and he asked if it's the type you shave your head for. I told him about how I lost all my hair. Then he told me that I don't even look like I had cancer. "Well maybe you do a bit, but you look good like that." It was pretty funny, and he even signed my guestbook later on. I'm so famous.

I spent about 4 days or so in Vancouver and did the important things (looked at Bryan Adams' house, went to Ikea, drove up a mountain, stood in the ocean, etc...) It was fun.

On a Tuesday, I decided to go over to Courtenay early. I planned it all with Rebecca's mom, without Rebecca knowing. When Rebecca got home, I was hiding in the living room on the couch. It took a bit of work to get her into the living room but she eventually came, saw me, screamed and ran away. She was pretty surprised but eventually calmed down. We spent a couple days hanging out, being idiots. Connie and Barb are always idiots.

After that, I took the train down island to Victoria. I hung out with Jenny and Eden. It was awesome to be back in Victoria. I had looked forward to it for way too long. We had some fun. Jenny and I decided to restart our All Girl Skate Team. After checking out the new skatepark in the afternoon, we decided we'd go show em how it's done that night. We did sort of. I showed my knee how to bleed. Jenny showed her elbow how to come close to breaking. But we'll work on it. Soon enough we'll be good enough to legitimately make fun of people. Too legit to quit. Til then, we'll just make fun of people and then make fools of ourselves.

After my visit to Victoria, I headed back up to Courtenay and hung out with the R-dawg again. We took a wee vacation to Hornby Island and camped to our hearts content. There's a crazy nice beach on that island and we spent most of our time there. My whole idea of never getting another sunburn in my life (cancer prevention, blah blah) kinda failed when I fell asleep on the beach. I did put sunscreen on but for some reason I forgot about the backs of my knees. It made walking painful.

After Hornby, I hung out in Courtenay while Rebecca worked for a few days. I got to use the family car becuase I'm an incredible driver.

THEN, on Sunday September 1st, I hopped in the Volvo-mobile, futon frame strapped to the roof-rack and headed south and didn't stop until the futon frame started coming off the roof. But after that, I didn't stop til I hit Victoria. We moved into our new place and it's so great. I love it and I love my blue room.

I started school on the 4th and I'm so happy to be in school. I love living on my own again, going to school, doing stupid things, having fun. I've wanted it for so long. I wanted this since I left it last fall. It's here, and it's great.

My hair is getting pretty long. It's about 2 inches on top and I can even wear hairbands and put junk in it to piss it off.

Other news, but I'll keep it short: I don't have to see my oncologist until November for some reason, and no CT scans are booked. I don't get it. My eyes started going all weird so I went to see the eye doctor. Apparently I've got astigmatism in my right eye, but my left is fine. He says it's not related to the chemo but I don't believe him. I can get glasses if I want but it's not too serious so it's up to me.

In Victoria I randomly got asked if I wanted to be a hair model. I think that's the greatest and funniest thing ever. Four months ago I hardly had any hair.

So that's that. Long-winded but I'm never quick. I feel like I'm back to normal now. Yeah the fears are there but the excitement/happiness of being here and doing what I'm doing overrides that all the time.

I'm a week away from my diagnosis anniversary. I remember on that day thinking my life would never be normal or the same again. Things have changed, for sure, but almost a year later, everything is exactly how I want it to be.

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