July 29, 2002

I've made my plans to go back out west. I leave next Thursday, August 8. Well I leave here August 7. I'm excited and so happy. But scared. It seems too good to be true. I've wanted to go back so badly. And now I am. But I'm leaving here. And the past 10 months. So much has gone on. And I'm OK to be on my own again. It's scary. As much as I don't want to be here, I'll miss it. It's safe here. I'll always be OK here. Everything that happened, happened here. Everything I learned, I learned here. And I'm leaving that.

But I guess all of that is in me. Everything. It started here but it goes with me everywhere. I'll never be alone, I know that. I'll never fall off the end of my rope. I've hung on. I've gotten back up after being knocked down. I've laughed when people expected me to cry. I've hung on to my umbrella through the rain. But sat to dry my socks if they got wet. I've enjoyed the sun more than I've ever enjoyed it before. I've learned I'm capable of the very things I thought were impossible.

I've learned I can fight, I can be strong, I can laugh, I can believe, I can survive and I can live. So that's what I'm going to do. Live. As best I can. Always. For the rest of my life.

(back)