Journal entry
October 26, 2001

I don't feel bad for getting cancer so young. I'm not glad that I got it so young - no way. The best age for cancer is no age. But it already has been a life/mind-changing experience and it will continue to be, even after I'm cured. I've only lived 19 years without the knowledge I have now. But I have so many years ahead of me to put this knowledge into practice. Someone who's 60 and gets cancer has lived most of their life taking things for granted, etc... The time after cancer with a new outlook (provided they have a new one) is small in comparison to the years already lived.

I have so many years and so many milestones to reach with this new attituade and outlook.

I'm not saying cancer is a blessing or has made me a better person or that my life will be so much better with this experience under my belt. I would have done quite fine without this experience.

This will just provide me with a different experience. Not a bad one. Not one that I recommend seeking out, but a slightly out of the ordinary one. I am not glad or happy that I have cnacer. In 10 years, looking back, if I had a choice I would not choose this path by which to gain experience. But to say cancer has ruined my life is far from the truth.

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